World Tour: The Bengali Express

Captains Log, Wednesday December 23 2009

I'm on a train, hey ma look at me I'm on a train. Never thought that I would be on a train. No, seriously I've always wanted to travel a long distance in South Asia in a hot and uncomfortable sleeper on the Chittag-Dhaka Mail train. Wait, now that I say that out-loud, this is amazing, I have always wanted to do something like this. Your probably wondering how I was able to post to the website while on a train in Bangladesh.  Well, back in my old life I knew this guy in the shipbuilding industry up in Labrador, I stole his daughter and his boat to go on a "World Tour." The woman I kidnapped was an ex-political operative secretly bringing about the demise of Sara Palin and her truth squad, and not Lotuk's daughter (turns out Lotuk didn't have a daughter). This woman, Kate, has been traveling with me in my new life on my world tour and has no idea that I stole her new "BeanSprout" out of her purse while she wasn't looking and am now in the bathroom posting to the website. 


So far we have been lucky, Kate is wanted by the RNC and IRS for fraud. After three pirates died on our cruse ship, I am wanted by Regent Cruse Line and Interpol for Hijacking and accused of killing three "crew members." Here is what happened, Kate and I purchased a large trunk in Dara es Salaam, stole away on the cruse ship. When the captain asked for his trunk to be taken to his quarters, the crew members took us there. To make a long story short, (I know that these things are hard to read through, hell I have a tough enough time just writing them) the latch snapped and killed two crew members. At that point some one yelled out, "Pirates!", so I took control of the vessel, by force, and piloted us to Chittag. The third death was totally bogus, Kate had pulled out her "BeanSprout" to pull up "BoatMap" someone thought it was a gun and fell down the stairs. By the way, Google's new "BoatMap" is astounding, since I can't read any of the dials or knob-thingies, "BoatMap" was the best way to keep out of "Internationally Protected Waters" and still avoid more pirates. 


Got to go, Kate came back and is looking for her


End of Transmission


Matt