Monday Bar Review: Paul Revere's Tavern

Paul Revere's Tavern
2703 E. Grand River Ave.
East Lansing, MI 48823

It's the 90's and it's 10 PM. You, your parents and your siblings are driving to that God forsaken little cabin you timeshare with three other families on that lake that smells like goose poop in the Town and Country. Your only solace is the Game Gear your cousin lost in the minivan the last time the jerk stayed at your house. You beat Surf Ninjas about an hour ago and Sonic III is taking it's toll in your batteries, the good news is, the van is stopping. The twins have to go to the bathroom and Dad looks like he just finished watching a Tarkovsky film, you think, even though you haven't seen his face for over five hours and don't know who Tarkovsky is yet.

The vehicle stops in front of a small town bar. Everyone stretches while stumbling out, except for the twins, who race to the bathroom. Twins; it's always a competition. Who can drink the most water the fastest, who can hold it the longest, who can get to the bathroom first and it's not even interesting. Now that is settled (the more normal twin won, but the weird one will not let the other forget about that thing), you all sit at a table. Mom goes to the bar, because she says she needs a nightcap and Dad dutifully sits at the table glaring at Mom while he orders a hamburger and a coffee. The waitress comes back with a tray full of cheese fries (it's the only thing the twins will eat) Dad's order and your weird Rubin. Soggy lettuce is not the same thing as kraut. It's your own fault, what the hell is an eight year old doing ordering a Rubin in the first place much-less  in a small town dive.

As one enters Paul Revere's one is immediately transformed into that eight year old ordering a wet Rubin. One's energy is sapped and sees all the people around you who know each other and don't know us. "I'll have an IPA" and some soggy domestic posing as an IPA sits in front of you. This time, however, you drink it instead of cross the street to buy more batteries to beat Zone 4 and the world wakes anew. No more are you 'that kid', you get to be 'some guy' (who took a keen interest to the fact that the bar used to spin in the 60's and asked to many questions).

Paul Revere's Tavern is a great haunt that was able to inspire an image such as the one above. In defense of the tavern, you can order one of 12 micro-brews on tap and enjoy decent drink specials through out the week.

Score: 

2.75 of 4 

$ Cheap

Contributed Bar Review: High Beck Tavern (German Village, Columbus, OH)

Bar Review: High Beck Tavern, Columbus, OH.

My good friend Bryan Jasin is living in Columbus OH and looking for a job. In his downtime, he decided to write this review for Awkward Haiku of a neat little bar in the historic German Village district. Mr. Jasin's views and opinions are not necessarily those of Awkward Haiku or its staff. Not that this disclaimer really matters because we have no idea what we, as a collective group, believe. Come to think of it, we post crazy and offensive things on this blog all the time. There! I think I've just successfully disclaimed a disclaimer. Now, enough of me and on with the review:

I recently strolled into High Beck Tavern in the quaint, yet busy German Village neighborhood in Central Columbus. Located on the corner of High and Beck St. (No, not just a creative bar name), this place is hopping on a Monday night for many reasons. First, the friendly bar staff bake homemade pizzas for free as long as you are drinking. I ate the pepperoni and BBQ chicken (which was surprisingly delicious, but hey I guess everything is better when it is free). The free pizza brings out all the starving artists to the bar, so be ready for creative dress, tattoos and piercings.

Secondly, the bar hosts great tables games for free including pool, ping pong, and darts. The bathrooms are covered in signatures, quotes, funny advice (all written in black sharpie) and topped off with a trough style urinal (reminded me of the Horseshoe). High Beck offers a robust draft beer selection (over fifteen beers on tap with some locals from the Columbus Brewing Co. and the Great Lakes Brewery). Beer prices are moderate, $9 for a pitcher of Bud Light. Service was prompt and friendly and the bar was fun. Music was average, but inaudible because of the ball games on numerous TVs around the bar. I advise to bring a group of friends and enjoy a free meal, have a beer and play some darts.

4.0/5.0 (Note how he rates on the superior 'Maguire Scale')

Bryan Jasin

Monday Bar Review: Wild Beaver Saloon

Wild Beaver Saloon
205 S. Washington Square
Lansing, MI 48933
(517) 708-7489

Indiana. Now get all those thoughts out of your head. You know, "Why does it have to smell so bad when I go to Chicago?", "If I build a crucifix on the side of a highway, will someone else build an adult bookstore?" and similar thoughts. No I want you to think of the bright and the beautiful lights of Indianapolis, Basketball and women that wear pants of early 90's provocative. Yeah, barley literate pants combined with professional broesefs crewate a perfect storm of cornhole on drunk with creepy men videophoning the waitresses.

In all seriousness, it's better than Hooters and the waitresses don't pretend to like you...old times.

This didn't happen:



Ok thats my review. It is concise and accurate.

Final Score 

2.1

Monday Bar Review: Old Chicago

Old Chicago 
1938  W. Grand River Ave
Okemos, MI 48864




Say what you want about chains. They all look alike. You don't get good food. Your server acts like s/he is on the verge of a nervous break down and his/her psyche is held together by a thin lattice of  pens, order-pads and chewing gum. All that aside, I would regularly deposit my backside on a stool at "We Openly Offend Matt's Sensibilities Bistro," if I could get New Holland's Dragon Milk for $6. Sadly, quite sadly indeed, they were out of Dragon Milk, so I ordered another wonderful Michigan beer, (I forget which) and had a lovely time.

Score

2.8

Monday Bar Review: Kelly's Downtown

Kelly's Downtown

220 S. Washington Sq. 

Lansing, M.I.
517-484-5007

As you walk through the oak heavy door, look around and you will find only one television. Thats right only one idiot box on the wall. This is the bar that you wanted to go to when you first started to go to coffee houses and dives. You know, a place that you didn't want to be bothered in, but if someone started to talk, you wouldn't mind joining in. Since this Kelly's is more of a Capital lunch spot, the night crowd thins out and you get a great night cap.

A traditional island bar acts as the visual hub for the rest of the establishment, while bent arrow bow dinning armchairs fan the periphery accompanying equally stunning tables. Kelly's Downtown looks and feels well planned and well run. 

Their Irish whiskey surpasses any bar I have visited so far.You don't notice it at first but when you look at the brands served you see not only the staples, Michal Collins, Jamison and Bushmills (boo), but Powers and Tullamore Dew too. So, if you are in a whiskey mood, have a driver, and don't feel like spending a lot of money then Kelly's Downtown is the bar to visit. It was only $4.75 for a single Powers. 

Photos to Come 

Final Score 

3.1 of 4

Monday Bar Review: Jolly Pumpkin

Jolly Pumpkin: Cafe & Brewery 
311 S. Main St.
Ann Arbor, M.I. 48104

Everything spins in Ann Arbor, from statues to cars, everything spins. I was disappointed when none of the features of Jolly Pumpkin nor the bar itself joined this tradition. The only interactive portion of the night was the drinking (and I didn't drink enough to make the bar spin).

 What irked me the most about Jolly Pumpkin, besides not incorporating the definite article into its name, was just how hard they tried to make the bar 'Post-Portland.' We get it, you make your own beer, none of the chairs spin and everything is industrial.

Tortuga Ale Company Chocolate Stout: I don't like my beer to taste like fruit. I don't like my stout to taste like chocolate (Shouldn't have chosen this one to begin with).

Grizzly Peak, Berserker American Strong Ale: A cask drawn ale always finishes smooth. You keep the flavor of the beer without the pesky carbonation.*  The only problem with this style of beer is that I don't know really what to expect from an American Strong Ale, is it a dopplebock? No, cause they called it an Ale...hmmm. It was the best beer I had at Jolly Pumpkin. I really enjoyed this one. 

I forgot the other ones that I tasted that night. 


I know now that Jolly Pumpkin makes beer to have a sour taste. Oak barrels, yeah yeah, whatever. It must be my pallet because all of my co-drinkers didn't have as visceral of feelings as I did. I left thinking more Jolly Rancher than Jolly Pumpkin.  


Score 2.60 +0.1 for the staff putting up with seven beer samplers, -0.1 for not having any moving parts, +0.1 for tricking me into trying to spin parts, -0.5 for not incorporating the definite article in the name of the bar/beer. -.05 for bribing "Men's Journal" and "GQ" to get beer on 'best of' lists.' +.1 for that last statement not being true, and that whole definite article thing in the name of the beer (I still don't like it for the name of the bar). 

Final Score

2.7

*Take note Harper's, brewing a flat, yeastie, awful beer and saying that some people like their beer without as much carbonation is not the same thing as doing a cask pour. 

Monday Bar Review: The Levee

The Levee
16 West 43rd St.
Kansas City, MO
(816) 561-5565

While staying at the Embassy Suites in Kansas City one may feel the urge to consume distilled. If one was to sit at Cattleman's Steak House and Bar's bar and wait for the overpriced well mix drink, one would be most disappointed.  Walk down the street and visit The Levee, a blues/sports bar.

Downstairs, you sit to close to the band when you can find a seat and fair little better when you stand.

Upstairs you will be left alone at a proper sports bar to watch the Royals loose.

If you are only in town for a few nights, and those nights are at the Embassy Suites, go ahead. On the other hand if you are spending a week or more...venture out and explore the beautiful City of Kansas (in Missouri).

Final Score 

2.5

Monday Bar Review: Great Lakes Brewing Company

Great Lakes Brewing Company
2516 Market Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio 44113
216-771-4404

It's a tale that comes from time immemorial. Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love, they become engaged. Boy and high school friend go to Cleveland for bachelor party and eat lunch at the Great Lakes Brewing Company. This story, a story I remind you that is as not a new one, is about the high school friend.

We will call the strikingly handsome friend, Matt and we will call the bar, good. GLBC has private dining rooms and a subterranean pub that reminds one of the pub in "Inglorious Bastards" with almost as many Germans. These, were the 'working class' dressed upper middle class middle aged American German, sort of Germans. Not the happy go lucky, card playing celebrating the birth of a child, Nazi, German speaking Germans. Although the similarities in the clientèle were few, I believe the similarity in the beer were not (few). Using the 19th century Dortmunder purity, GLBC has created one of the best lager style beers that Matt had ever tasted; 'Dortmunder Gold'

From that day on Matt also drank lagers.

The End 

2.8 +.5 for meat and cheese plate, -.15 for the guilt trip route the GPS put us on. 

Final 

3.25

Monday Bar Review: Michigan Brewing Company

Michigan Brewing Company
402 S. Washington
Lansing, M.I. 48933

Think of a a brewer's pub. Not really a brewpub, a brewer's pub a place designed specifically to showcase the company's product, more of a flagship. If you were me, you would have pictured a of a place with large stainless steel vats, sacks of malt, rye, wheat enclosed in a glass room. The bar is rich, wooden, spacious, lots of brass, lots of taps, at least one gravity tap and comfortable. The dinning room is modest, lowly lit and invites people to indulge. Keep this image in the back of your mind while you read the next part.

 Remember looking for good beer at the store and seeing that one with the Mackinac Bridge on the label?  You may have passed it up, wrote it off as yuppie beer and never returned. That was Michigan Brewing Company beer. The atmosphere and decor of their Lansing pub, on a Monday, reflects that sentiment. A twenty foot ceiling caps pastel walls draped with large 'modern' wall hanging of breweries. Sitting at the bar, one gets the feeling that the brewmaster's nephew got a circ saw for his birthday and wanted to build something. After your mental picture of a brewer's pub has been smashed and you stare at your porter sitting on four coats of light brown, semi-gloss Behr, you think, 'I guess I'll have to drink it now.' You drink, and realize that it is wrong to judge a book by its cover.

The porter was thick, smoky and insane nutty. If it where a woman, it would have been one of my ex-girlfriends (just a joke). The Russian imperial stout delightful punched me in the face and knocked me off my barstool. A snifter will do yah. I hear that they have one of the best burgers in town. I'll keep you updated.

This is one of those split personality bars that needs a split score.

Without factoring beer: 2.7, +.1 for providing a chess set.

Factoring beer: 3.27

 Combined Final Score

2.985 of 4

Monday Bar Review: Grand Rapids Brewing Co.

Grand Rapids Brewing Company
3689 28th st.
Grand Rapids, MI. 49521
NE Corner of 28th and E. Beltline by the Centerpoint Mall


I was at Grand Rapids Brewing Company this afternoon to work on a documentary (about beer) with my friend Kira, as talent. Who would have thought, I would be used as talent. As it turned out my old high school buddy (well kind of acquaintance) Stewart was in charge of brewing, small world. Since it was two o'clock in the afternoon, I didn't get a real impression of the clientèle or atmosphere that frequents the Grand Rapids Brewing Co. I did try their beer though.

From what I can tell, the beer is superb. The flavors are not so complex  that you feel like your at a wine tasting rather than a bar, but, if you wanted to wax with pretense you certainty could. For the lighter (beer) drinker the 'River City Red' has enough hops to let you know they are there and finishes relaxingly smooth. The 'Lumberman Dark' is a great early spring porter. It's thick enough to remind you that 'Lumberman Dark' is a porter, and that it is still cold outside, but has a bright body to transition you to the warmer months ahead. The 'Lumberjack Dark' is a perfect beer for those who are put off by the heaviness of darker stouts, but want to start expanding their beer drinking tastes. My favorite was their dopplebock, which didn't have a name yet, but will soon. I suggest Calder Bock. The dark amber dopplebock was smooth, malty  and finished like a beer with five percent alcohol (this one contained ten), in short, everything a good dopplebock should be.

Even though they are not bottling yet, you can still purchase a growler (half gallon) for eleven bucks and eight for a refill. The food is reasonably priced, chain restaurant ballpark, and as I hear, delicious.  I would recommend the Grand Rapids Brewing Co. to anyone with a little extra time to kill while in GR and looking for a good beer but does not want to have to eat bar food.

Score: 2,4 +.10 for knowing the brewmaster, +.10 for a modern 19th century feel.



Final Score
2.6

Monday Bar Review: The Claddagh Irish Pub

The Claddagh Irish Pub
2900 Towne Centre Blvd
Lansing, MI 48912-5615
(517) 484-2523

Uh, beat me over the head with a shillelagh, not another Irish themed bar. No Matt, you are wrong. The Claddagh is not just an Irish theme gastro-pub its like Rain-forest Cafe of pubs, you could put it in Epcot.  Don't expect anyone to be Irish, just expect at least one person as pissed as an Irishman. 


You would hope that its not a franchise, but then,  your hopes would be dashed.


More to come. 

3.0 out of 4

Monday Bar Review: Tavern on the Square (Grand Rapids)

Tavern on the Square
100 Ionia Avenue Southwest
Grand Rapids, MI 49503
616) 456-7673


For the first time, Grand Rapids finally gets something after, Lansing. Well, besides Sundance Used Cars, Mernards Hardware Store, Pancheros, and Jimmy John's. Other than those, Lansing never gets anything first. Located in the old Black Rose, 'Tavern on the Square' is a nice tapas-pub where you actually have to wait for a table and feel bad that you haven't dressed up. Even though you didn't dress up because you couldn't get into any of the other bars, you still feel bad.

Wait a second Matt, are you telling me that "Urban Feast's" first foray into the Grand Rapids bar scene is a franchise? Well not a franchise, just another location. O.K. but why are there pictures of George Washington everywhere and that name doesn't make sense. You have to realize that the location in Lansing is located on Washington Square, hence the name and George Washington motif. As your fictional sounding board, I would have to say that doesn't seem like a very good idea. It's a little confusing to me too, but it's a decent Restur-bar.

If you go there and there are five (or more) of you who attend, I would recommend getting the five tapas for $35 special. If there are less than five, it isn't worth the headache trying to figure out what to get and are eventually disappointed by the mediocrity of the dishes that you just ended up saving $3 on. They all sound good on the menu, crab-cakes and pirogi served with Hungarian paprika (that doesn't mean that it is smoked paprika, just that it's like every other paprika), but when it gets to your plate there is something left to be desired. This food review is unfair because it is based on Lansing's Tavern, so I won't use that against the Grand Rapids' Tavern.

A bright spot for the bar portion of Tavern on the Square are the $2.50-3 microbrews, served in 10oz glasses. Some of you would complain, but you get to drink more beers and are drinking more beer for the money. So lets say you get a $6 pint (16oz) Brooklyn Brown Ale, at another bar, you get a full 20oz for the same price at the GR Tavern.

Final Score 

2.8 of 4

Monday Bar Review: Mulligan's Pub

Mulligan's Pub
1518 Wealthy St. Se.
Grand Rapids, MI, 49501

Did you ever think that you would want the bartender to turn down the music? I knew that I might have, if my ears were not insulated by the layers of smoke emitted by Tom Waits look-a-likes, the biker gang from "Wild Hogs" and the cast of S.P.I.T. This was the first bar that I have, seriously, wanted to start a fight and one of the many that I may never frequent again.

For all of it's faults Mulligan's has decent service when you get your turn at the bar and $4.00 Guinness (dark viscous alcoholic water). I will have to admit, you do get a rush having to clutch your beer to your chest while drugged out Philistines plow their way through your group of friends. The strangest part about Mulligan's isn't the clientèle, that at least is constant, it's the amount of flat-screen televisions lining the walls of the metal pub (I counted six). The saddest part about this review, is the fact that if anyone from the bar reads this, it will not stultify the mollification of their opinions about Awkward Haiku.

Mulligan's proves that punk never died, it just developed a social disease, burned out and began wandering the streets. Yes, in decades to come you will see children dressing up as Punk Rockers for Halloween, Sid and Nancy blockbusters and CBGB reenactments.

1.5, +.05 for service, -.1 for that guy that cut me inline for the bathroom.

Final Score 

1.45 of 4

Monday Bar Review: Tavern on the Square

206 S. Washington Sq.,
Lansing, MI 48933
(517) 374-5555


After you sauce yourself up at home and begin taking your weekly walk around Washington Square to jeer at the people studying in Cooley Law, take a minute to duck into 'Tavern on the Square (TS).' Owned by the folks that brought us 'Troppo' and the least frequented bar in East Lansing 'The Post;' TS fits right in. The only difference between TS and the others is that it is popular, but this isn't a review of those bars.

When you duck in from your jeering, put your hat and gloves in your jacket and look around. Now go back outside, thats right your still in Lansing Michigan. As we say in da Yoop, "Holy Wah this is better than Tivo's camp." And that expression holds no more sway than here, at the bar with with George Washington on the front.

So what have we learned about 'Tavern on the Square' from these last two paragraphs? First we learned that a lot of rich kids to to TS, thus they have a great selection of spirits and beer. Second, that you wouldn't expect such a place in the middle of Michigan, thus TS is a little pricey. Third, my prose was colloquial Amish Swiss, lots of little pockets of air surrounded by....cheese...thus we can say that TS is a bar full of air surrounded by....people. I mean that the clientell isn't the most interesting but you wont have to worry about getting into a fight nor having a lot of fun that you don't make yourself. 


2.7 +.05 for classy fireplace, -.05 for not having a mural of Stevens T. Mason, +.5 for Johnny Walker Blue and good service. 


Final Score


3.2

Monday Bar Review: SnapIt

Since I have run out of money, I have stopped going to bars. One would think that no longer attending bars would disqualify me from writing bar reviews, welcome to Awkward Haiku. In this weeks bar review I will be taking a look at the program SnapIt by Digeus software.

If your line of work involves any kind of technical software writing, SnapIt is the perfect program for you. At first, I thought that this program preformed the same function as the 'Prnt Scrn' button at the top of your keyboard that you never use. I don't use it because the process of cropping and then never getting the right kind of picture that you wanted anyway and giving up, was too much of a hassle for me. With SnapIt you just hit the prnt scrn button and then crop the part of the screen that you want to use. That area is then turned into either a, .png, .jpg, .tiff, .bmp, .gif file and saved into any directory you want it to go.

Get to the point you say? Well after a few minutes using SnapIt I found that I was able to redesign parts of the website with out having to find the source files, copy part of the pitchfork website and one of Hulu's banners. All of which will make for some fun satire, but for your everyday user it doesn't serve too much of a purpose. Unless normal internet consumers decide to maybe email their relatives a cheap e-card or something I still can't come up with an everyday application for this application.

All and all, SnapIt is great for industry but not for recreation.

Check out SnapIt for yourself, here.

My SnapIt pictures after the jump

Monday Bar Review: Stober's Bar

Stober's Bar 

812 E. Michigan Ave. 
Lansing, MI 48912

Stober's is a bar that's a lot like an Elk's or a Moose Lodge: you have to know someone who knows about Stober's to bring you in. If you don't know anyone you most likely will just pass by it on your way to another bar on the Michigan strip. When you finally get in, you will have a decision to make: sit at a table or go up a few stairs to a booth (the bar is always full, don't even try it). No matter which you chose, you will have to get your own beer. At a booth you will be left alone for the most part. At a table, get ready to make a lot of friends really fast. 

When you find your seat, go to the bar and you will see one of the strangest walls in mid-Michigan. Running the length of Stober's is an enormous wood carving with the wizard stain-glass staring you down. A pair of bat lamps light the liquor while the wo carved eagles in the corner's eyes glow red.  With talismans such as these it is no wonder interesting nights befall its patrons. 

My past adventures to Stober's have included almost getting into a fight over: the chauvinism of kilts, my distaste for the Dutch, and the perennial favorite 'whose turn it is to play table shuffle board.' 

The beer selection is as decent as one can expect from a dive and the prices are very fair. 

2.8 +.07 for being a good neighborhood bar that welcomes strangers brave enough to endure. 

Final

2.87 out of 4

Monday Bar Review: The Exchange of Lansing

The Exchange of Lansing 
314 E. Michigan Ave, Lansing 

It used to be that you could walk in to any bar with a suit on and a fake accent and (at the least) score a few phone numbers (that you would never call), not any more. What can you expect from a bar above a gentleman's club? Not much. With no cover and a cheap looking crowd it is no surprise that a gimlet cost me $6.75! Now for your people out on the coasts thinking, 'I pay $12 for a gimlet, what is he complaining about?' If your state has spent the past twenty years being run around, bullied  and under military attack from Congress, Corporations and Canada, a $6.75 gimlet is absurd. If you are in the area just go to Stober's.

1.5 .1 for good service and  .1 for a decent band.

Final 

1.7 out of 4

Monday Bar Review: Los Tres Amigos East Lansing

Los Tres Amigos 
1227 E Grand River Ave
East Lansing, MI 48823-4912
(517) 853-5800

During the summer of '07 my friend and an acquaintance of mine rented an apartment over looking the Red Cedar River and right across the street from the Spartan Sports Den. We would laugh and drink as we laughed and watched the Pistons loose the 2007 Championship and drink cheap beer to ease the pain of watching my acquaintance act like a jerk.

Years latter I saw that the Spartan Sport's Den had closed its doors for good, and riddance to them. All that bar ever was good for was 2.00 well drinks, snotty service and old burned out big screens.  In it's place some one was building a new Mexican Restaurant. I thought, 'what another? We already have six, how would a seventh be any better?'
After a few years and a summer in Maine (the whitest state in the Union) I was ready to give Los Tres Amigos (LTA) a shot. My chance didn't come until September 29th 2009, when David called me at 9:05 pm and wants me to go out and do something before the leaves for Whales. I didn't want to go, the Tigers were up 5-4 against the Twins in the 8th and the Twins were up to bat, since I felt sorry for the jackass we decided on LTA. More after the Jump...

Monday Bar Review: Polly's Underground Pub

Polly's Underground Pup
102 E B St
Iron Mountain, MI 49801

Do you think you have what it takes to enter (and enjoy) Polly’s Underground Pub? It’s a little hard to find, being underground and all, but once the pub is found, it is not too hard to enter (just go down the stairs). Before you descend you must know that Polly’s is not a northern CBGB’s (having one in the UP wouldn’t be a bad idea though), it is a townie bar. Now that you know you can go downstairs.

Now you are down stairs, look around you, what you will find is your rich friend’s parent’s basement, jukebox, bar, old woman playing the polka cello and all. TV’s are tube, the drinks are under three dollars and the locals are Yoopers. Why are the people from the UP called Yoopers? Sound it out, you’ll get it. I wouldn’t expect you to get it, all of you Trolls, Philistines and Hittites. Never mind, don’t worry about it, have you ever noticed how weird it is that clam juice, tomato juice and Budweiser taste well together? Or that a three dollar rye can wash over the loud friendly jackass screaming for more booze in the corner.

Go, have fun, be a local, but not too much of a local, put a little Yoop in your accent but explain that you are from out of town but don’t go on and on about how nice it is anyplace other than the UP, because there is no other place that is better than the UP. I got off topic, right, visit Polly’s Underground, the name is cooler than the bar. Just go to say you had some rye at a Polly’s Underground in Iron Mountain, home of specials written on poster board and the Super Yooper Burger!

2.9 Units out of 4

Cheap!! .0$

Monday Bar Review: The Tap House Lounge

The Tap House Lounge

8 Iona Street

Across from J. Gardella's

Not the kind of bar that you think it would be from it's name. From it's name you would think that the Tap House would be a friendly down to earth bar that you would find on the T.V. show wings. This one, however, has GoGo dancers (no the 60's kind) upstairs and bikers downstairs (not the Harley kind, the crotch rocket kind).

If you go further into the Atrium or as some like to call it 'hell', you will experience the discomfort of a thousand middle school nerds as all the cool kids dance and have a 'good-time.' Since I have never been one to poo-hoo a 'good-time,' I attempted to dance with the 'girls' on the stage, but was quickly thrown out of the bar. Being 86'd may have been the best thing for me, since it took a week to get the smell of cheep perfume/Axe and Marlboro Lights out of my nostrils.

Go to Toga Night...if you dare! The Tap House is a perfect place to take your douche bag cousin or a fun judgement filled night out with your 'cool-friends' or in lieu of a haunted house you can roam the bar and dace club looking at all the 'freaks.'

1.10 out of 4

For serving alcohol and having specials.

$ Cheapish