C.C. Colin W. Maguire Supports: OUR TIME "the AARP for under 30's"

Hey everybody. You should all check out this awesome group I've been getting into. They are called Our Time. They are a non-partisan group formed to promote the interests of under 30's. They put pressure on government and the media to take our concerns seriously. You can see their website here:

http://www.ourtime.org/

You can see them on facebook at:

www.facebook.com/#!/OurTimeOrg?sk=wall

Today's targets are Sen. Jay Rockefeller and Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich. They both recently made derisive statements towards Millenials.

Conservative Contributor Colin W. Maguire: Legal Marijuana is Good Business & Good Policy

What is the next big thing everybody privately talks about but publicly does not want to bring up? Marijuana. Not just the narcotic itself but the legalization of Cannabis. Which at this point is restricted to medical usage if sold commercially. This activity takes place despite federal laws against such activity but is permitted by certain states. Now, I do not smoke weed, I do not want to smoke weed and I certainly would not want my children to smoke weed. Still, do I think we should legalize weed? Absolutely and I know I am not alone in this sentiment. In fact, I have been a part of three separate conversations regarding commercial marijuana distribution in the past two weeks. You know who else agrees with me? The states of Michigan, California and others who now grant licenses to distribute the drug through “medicinal growing clubs.” In truth, these operations are likely a mere formality to an ultimate end. Here are my bullet point reasons for why weed should be and will be completely legalized (though tempered in its public use in a way similar to tobacco or alcohol) within the next five years:

1) People Smoke Anyway: They just do. I don’t get but I don’t have to. We are living in America; people may have well understood freedoms tempered by liberty.

2) The Black Market: Weed does create violence but it is because of the illicit nature of the business. The liquor trade was violent too when it was illegal. I don’t feel like drug dealers should get to drive fancy cars while I drive an economical option. Which leads me to…

3) Tax Revenue: As a fiscal conservative and tax payer I am so thrilled to be getting tax money off of marijuana sales. Anything to alleviate the taxation of productivity and fund government through peoples’ vices is fine by me.

4) Business: Did somebody say, “new emerging sector?” As a guy who was put through college on profits from commercial real estate leases, I smile when I see previously vacant storefronts displaying anything…even a green leaf.

5) States’ Rights: The states absolutely have the right to do this. The feds will counter with an interstate commerce law argument. That law reaches too far and could be hemmed in by the efforts of legal marijuana advocates. If not, the feds will continue to look like fascist idiots for busting old hippies growing pot with a state license. At some point, the public policy disaster will be too much for any administration to handle.

In conclusion, I say that the time is now for advocate of marijuana. With a slumping economy and a public angry with the federal government, there may never exist a riper moment to firmly entrench a legitimate business culture of marijuana distribution. Besides, if I’m not against it who is?!?!

The Politics of Green

So never mind, here is a time sensitive piece about elections that I need to get out before the polls close. Please see the first link to this, it is hysterical:

Super Tuesday approaches with renewed vigor. 2010 is allegedly an “off-year” election because the presidency is not up for grabs. Still, you wouldn’t know politics is not supposed to be exciting here in Michigan. I suspect the same is true in many parts of the country. With hotly contested elections abounding, political ads have sunk to, perhaps, an all-time low. Though, if you want to give Canada credit for being the best at anything besides hockey you should take a moment to check out the dirtiest ad of the political year:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTtiieTSe4I

In many elections, the issues do not come down to whether a candidate has kicked an adolescent in the face. In fact, environmental positions are becoming more prevalent. In fact, these positions on the environment are so expected that they are starting to have their own nuances you have to be aware of. No more is the argument “tree-huggers” vs. “clear-cutters”. Now, the arguments hinge on issues like what type of alternative energy should we invest in? What kinds of clean air standards are acceptable? Candidates’ positions are best read at their source. You’re going to want to visit their official websites and read what they say.

For the purposes of our exercise today, I have selected the Michigan Gubernatorial race. This race pits Lansing Mayor Virg Bernero (D) against successful Ann Arbor businessman Rick Snyder (R). What is unique about this race is that both candidates are socially moderate to liberal on most issues. Even more unique, the Republican in this race probably has made headway through his environmental position. To give you a little bit of background on one of the more unlikely match-ups in the country. Bernero is a seasoned politician with great flair. His exploits on CNN and MSNBC in defense of General Motors earned him the nickname, “America’s Angriest Mayor.” Snyder is the former CEO of Gateway Computers and has about as much flair as Jennifer Anniston’s character in Office Space: the minimum. A self professed nerd, Snyder rose from humble beginnings by being a child savant and earning a Masters at University of Michigan before his mid-twenties. Sadly, neither has been accused of being a witch.

The final disclaimer is that Bernero is far behind Snyder in the polls but I think their policies on conservation and energy is worth taking a look at.

Here is the link to Bernero’s platform:
http://www.votevirg.com/issues.php

Here is the link to Snyder’s platform:
http://www.rickformichigan.com/vision-plan/policy-central

Just a thought for a reality TV show: Governor Snyder: Revenge of the Nerds!

Mr. Maguire is the Membership Director & a Certification Specialist at SERF. He holds a degree in Political Science from Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio. If you’ve never heard of it that’s okay, Paul Newman never rode a bike down the middle of your campus naked. Mr. Maguire has had the pleasure of meeting both candidates mentioned in this piece. He has also had the pleasure of visiting Canada and knowing Canadians. Frankly, who knew they had it in them to be so mean on television...eh? Somebody hired a ringer.

SERF (The Society of Environmentally Responsible Facilities

Conservative Contributor Colin Maguire here!

So, it has been awhile but that's because I've been working for an awesome new company (and attending Law School part-time. At anyrate, here is a link to blog commenting on our launch:

http://www.capitalgainsmedia.com/innovationnews/serf0441.aspx

Also, here is the companies website which helps explain a bit about what we do:

www.serfgreen.org

Finally, I've been blogging for them a bit and have begun writing a piece on the ideological relationship between the Early America and Enviromental Concerns. It mat well start appearing here in pieces.

Water Front Bar & Grill (City Market, Lansing, Michigan)

A Michigan-produced hard cider on tap is indicative of the theme at the Water Front Bar & Grill. Though you will find enough highly recognizable beers on can or tap (Labatt Blue, Bud Light, Stella Artois, Guinness), its the local selections that takes the cake. The proprietors keep an ever flowing selection of local brews in the fridge and (here's where I find it impressive) dominating the taps. Michigan Brewing Company, Bell's, North Peak, Detroit Brewing, etc. are represented well; along with Midwest stand-bys Goose Island and Great Lakes B.C. Their food service is still a work in progress but almost all of the ingredients are garnered from the host facility: the Lansing City Market. The plan is to offer a simple but tasty lunch option and then go Michigan-style Tapas for dinner. Outstanding! The bar was cozy and busy on a week night while featuring a reputable clientele. If you want my opinion, visit while there still exists the concept that this is a relatively unknown commodity. The atmosphere gives the feel of a really good after-party but one should go there early. The bar closes at 11pm (classy in my opinion) and is well worth any trip. The Lansing State Journal has also published an article regarding the opening (and snapped the picture above), here is a link to that article: http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/article/20100810/NEWS03/8100344/1004/news03/

Bravo LSJ! You took the first picture! They also wrote a pleasant article void of typos and filled with fun facts. However, we broke the news kind of, sort of, first. At least, we launched the first investigative report into the issue. With David and I catching these exclusive breaks, I predict Awkward Haiku will be responsible for breaking some kind of scandalous headline within the next year. Anyway, the bar rocks and you should go.

Score: (4.5 out of 5) Music and game-watching capabilities are, as of yet, unknowns.

Your turn Matt!

City Market Bar Follow-Up

Great Success!!! There is an operational bar at the Lansing City Market. It is called the Waterfront Bar & Grill. The interior and kitchen remains unfinished. They have a GREAT selection of local beers on tap and in the bottle. The pints go at around $3.00 (a great price downtown). They have a special wherein you can buy any 6 assorted cans of beer for $10.00 (I think they should call it the 'Cheap Date Special'). The proprietors are incredibly friendly. The hours are 11am-11pm and they do a cheap lunch. The facility features an outstanding patio and view of the river. I could really go on but the question still lingers: why has the opening not received more publicity? Well, my deep investigation revealed a few reasons.
First, management wanted the facility open for the Common Ground Festival, even though they were not necessarily prepared to open. Hence, the bar has remained open with improvements ongoing. Second, they are experiencing delays in getting up their signage and finalizing patio plans. As a person who has some experience with commercial real estate issues, I can sympathize with their plight. Third, they plan a grand opening in September and are treating July and August as soft opening months. This is a frequent practice for start up eateries as it allows operational errors to work themselves out (a little Sushi bar in East Lansing called 'San Su' opened this way and that seems to have worked out real well). Does any of this mean you should hold off on frequenting the Waterfront Bar & Grill? Absolutely not! What are you waiting for? Check it out and tell them Colin & Matt sent you.
(I will be defferential to Matt and not give a Bar Review Rating)

Lansing City Market: Why is this not a bigger deal???

The new Lansing City Market has been open for a few months now. It will remind you little of the old building. That's a good thing because it now comes across as a legitimate source for everyday shopping and needs. Yet, it seems to be a whole lot more. Uncle John's Cider Mill, and ever popular Mid-Michigan Brand, has established a branch for its bakery and spirits. Sample their wonderful fruit wines and new brands of Hard Cider (Apple, Pear, Cherry-Apple). What is more, there is some kind of restaurant on the riverside. Though I only darted in for a few minutes, I observed a handsome wooden bar surrounded by tables. The bar appeared to have a fine tap selection. Why was I not informed?!?! This has to be the softest opening of a bar/restaurant I can imagine. Has there been advertising? Even the City Market's website says the place in "Coming Soon." Maybe the place is good, maybe not. However, you cannot deny the geographic importance of a bar, right on the riverfront and between Washington Square and Old Town. Could this be the lynch pin to a safe, fun, and connected entertainment district in Lansing? Has anyone heard what the hours are?

Contributed Bar Review: High Beck Tavern (German Village, Columbus, OH)

Bar Review: High Beck Tavern, Columbus, OH.

My good friend Bryan Jasin is living in Columbus OH and looking for a job. In his downtime, he decided to write this review for Awkward Haiku of a neat little bar in the historic German Village district. Mr. Jasin's views and opinions are not necessarily those of Awkward Haiku or its staff. Not that this disclaimer really matters because we have no idea what we, as a collective group, believe. Come to think of it, we post crazy and offensive things on this blog all the time. There! I think I've just successfully disclaimed a disclaimer. Now, enough of me and on with the review:

I recently strolled into High Beck Tavern in the quaint, yet busy German Village neighborhood in Central Columbus. Located on the corner of High and Beck St. (No, not just a creative bar name), this place is hopping on a Monday night for many reasons. First, the friendly bar staff bake homemade pizzas for free as long as you are drinking. I ate the pepperoni and BBQ chicken (which was surprisingly delicious, but hey I guess everything is better when it is free). The free pizza brings out all the starving artists to the bar, so be ready for creative dress, tattoos and piercings.

Secondly, the bar hosts great tables games for free including pool, ping pong, and darts. The bathrooms are covered in signatures, quotes, funny advice (all written in black sharpie) and topped off with a trough style urinal (reminded me of the Horseshoe). High Beck offers a robust draft beer selection (over fifteen beers on tap with some locals from the Columbus Brewing Co. and the Great Lakes Brewery). Beer prices are moderate, $9 for a pitcher of Bud Light. Service was prompt and friendly and the bar was fun. Music was average, but inaudible because of the ball games on numerous TVs around the bar. I advise to bring a group of friends and enjoy a free meal, have a beer and play some darts.

4.0/5.0 (Note how he rates on the superior 'Maguire Scale')

Bryan Jasin

State Primaries Tomorrow: Gubenatorials Race Takes Center Stage

C.C. Colin Maguire officially supports the following two candidates:

Rep. Pete Hoekstra (GOP) & Mayor Virg Bernero (Democratic Party)

It should be a very exciting race in both parties. Bernero is polling close with Dillion. Hoekstra is in a 4-way thunderdome match with most Republican voters undecided. Though I am a conservative, I am almost to the point of Libertarian at this juncture. As you may know, you can only fill out one side of the primary ballot (either GOP of Democrat). In my past ballots, I have voted straight-ticket Republican. However, the GOP race is so splintered I am tempted to vote as a Democrat for Virg. It is a difficult gamble. I like both candidates and a vote for Hoekstra could mean be extremely critical for his success or a huge waste. On the contrary, I know that a vote for Virg will be helpful to him against Dillion. The polling on the GOP side is incredibly vague. Frankly, I cannot think of a primary election I have studied that was this splintered since the Civil War era (I'm sure similar and more recent examples exists but none jump to mind). To put this in context, there are 3 major candidates for the GOP (plus Mike Bouchard sitting at 10%). Nobody can safely claim 25% of the vote and around 14% of voters are still undecided. We may well be headed to a run-off unless political underdog Rick Snyder pulls a major coup tomorrow (he is technically leading in the polls but, again, this means little). Bernero is in better shape. He holds a roughly 40% stake in the polls to Dillon's roughly 32%. Theoretically, Dillion would have to get 67% of the undecided votes to win whereas Bernero would only have to receive 39%. Important times for Michigan and important decisions. This GOP race is intense and there is the distinct possibility that a loser in the primary may seek election anyway. In an election year where many consider the GOP nominee a lock to win the general election, could this log-jam create an opportunity for Mayor Bernero to take the state? Thoughts? Comments?

Really Short Bar Reviews

Because Matt is dragging his feet, I'll give a blurb version of the bar reviews on the Colin scale (5 stars max because I'm not so intellectually pretension as to use a 4.0 gradin' scale)

Wild Magnolias (Martinsville, Virginia): The Virginia equivalent of Flint, MI and you still find the brandy is too expensive and trashy guys in U of M sweatshirts. Is it a bad sign when your town crawl is located in a strip mall on the periphery of a real mall (and right next to a gym)? If drinking had a version of a "Bucket List," I suppose you would have to experience a place like this. Just remember that 80% of the people with you are not parenting their children at that moment and are, hence, repeating the vicious cycle. In all seriousness, just drink your fairly inexpensive beer and don't look the MMA dreamers in the eyes.

(1.25 out of 5)

Tavern of the Square "Revisited" (Lansing, Michigan): As a straight drinking establishment, it is hard to beat the selection. I have not seen Duvel on the beer list in a Michigan bar, until the other night at Tavern. The porch area and the loft offer intriguing social settings. The classy portraits are a plus; as is no cover. Still, can you really spend a long night there with the prices? Also, no music to speak of.

(3.75 out of 5)

The Firm (Lansing, Michigan): The name on the sign is not a reference to the clienteles' general waist line or their level of commitment to sexual decency. Still, you can have a good time here; just not inside with the incredibly loud music. The drinks can be really cheap and the conversations flowing. Big time hisses for a cover charge.

(3.0 out of 5)

Wild Beaver Saloon (Lansing, Michigan): Not as bad as you think it will be. There is lots to do and even more to oggle. The drink selection is fine and they even present a cheap "Beaver Brew" option (Busch Light on our night). It can get rowdy. Try not to do a double take when they serve you in a plastic cup as the night proceeds. Also, the music is pretty good. Still, the outfits on the girls are beyond garish and the hula-hoop contests are incredibly contrived. At least it's not Hooters where they train the waitresses to hit on you...and everyone knows it...so it's really awkward.

(3.25 out of 5)

The Night of the Wild Beaver

Nobody is more excited about tonight's impending Awkward Haiku staff party (Matt and I go drinking and everyone is welcome to come) at the Wild Beaver Saloon on Washington Square in lovely downtown Lansing, MI. Is it because of the skantily clad, dancing waitresses? No, I'll be with wife in tow and have eyes for nobody else. I'm excited to see what Matt does, how he does it, and the aftermath that will be his bar review. Matt is all things old school and conservative; though only when it comes to drinking. How will he react to the Indiana based mini-chains newest, skin-heavy venture? Well, I don't think the bar will cross the hallowed grounds of a 4.0 on the Matt scale. However he reacts, you should read his review then go check out the place yourself. Lansing has been going through a rough patch and we should try and support new investments in the community. This is only Wild Beaver's 4th store (2 in Indiana and the other in Nashville) and their early business model seems to tend towards smaller cities. Like it or not, this is the type of outside interest and investment that Lansing needs if the city is ever to return to something like its hey-day. So head down to Washington Square, try not to oggle, and see if Lansing's newest nightlife addition is right for you.

2009 Awkward Political Moment Award

2009 Awkward Political Moment Nominees

Dick Cheney’s Wheel Chair at the Inauguration: Oh yeah, we all believe he, “fell moving boxes,” and did not have another heart problem. Way to blow it GOP. You could have actually scored sympathy points for Dick Cheney.

Governor Rob Blagojevich on Celebrity Apprentice: First, ole’ Rob B. got himself impeached from the Governorship of Illinois. To be honest, that whole process was fairly impressive. He went out kicking, screaming, accusing, and refuting President Obama’s claims that he and the disgraced Governor weren’t close. Having his 15 minutes of fame, Blagojevich should have retired from the public eye with a sort of defiant dignity…or not! Blagojevich attempted to become the next celebrity apprentice to Donald Trump. Anymore, the jump from political scandal to reality television is not a far off. Still, Blagojevich deserves ridicule for being so self-absorbed as to jump into the cultural sewer that is reality TV.

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford goes, “en fuego” with Argentine: Almost an unfair race when you include a story like this. The undisputed facts in this case:

- Mark Sanford was the popular Republican Governor of South Carolina.

- Mark Sanford had a habit of hiking in the Appalachian wilderness as a way to relax.

- Mark Sanford disappeared for a few days and members of the media (plus government employees) begin to notice.

-M ark Sanford’s staff claimed he was somewhere on the Appalachian Trail with no cell phone.

- Media members familiar with Governor Sanford see him on a return flight from Buenos Aires. Yeah, he was in ARGEN-freaking-TINA!

- It was revealed that Gov. Sanford had a long-time Argentine mistress (a former model and TV reporter no less) whom he often traveled to see.

Now, if you never saw this coming neither did anybody else. Especially surprised was Sanford’s long-time wife…Awkward! The real fun was just getting started as questions arose about whether or not Sanford had appropriated state funds for this international affair. To date, Sanford still believes he can work it out with his wife and the State of South Carolina. Stories like this provide a us with a reminder that the truth is often stranger than fiction.

President Obama pisses off the Special Olympics and Las Vegas: The election of then Senator Obama was billed as a time for change. Instead, it became a familiar tale: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. In this case, it was President Obama and Mr. Prick. As polished as any public speaker in recent memory, it is all the more perplexing that the President states horribly un-P.C. things on a regular basis. Though it turns out he had been kind of a jerk for years, President Obama made a splash by referring to his low bowling score as a, “Special Olympics Score.” First, Special Olympics athletes are often exceptional bowlers with very high scores. Second, how much of an arrogant S.O.B do you have to be to think it is okay to say this as President of the United States? Conservative rants aside, the President next decided to frame the problems of America in the context of a city: Las Vegas. Las Vegas may be ‘Sin City’ and may be an example of financial excess. However, it is also a major American city with an expanding population (read voters). After insulting the city…twice…the Mayor of Las Vegas made it clear that he was very upset and made thinly veiled threats that security would not be provided for future Obama visits.

"The Kennedy Seat,” Goes to Scott Brown: Technically, this happened in 2010. Still, the possibility of this happening became apparent in 2009 and…okay I just want to gloat (not an actual nominee). In no Republican's wildest dreams would the following happen. Ted Kennedy passes away, a run-off election ensues and the Democrats lose his seat. Well, a little-known Massachusetts State Senator named Scott Brown had a dream and it came true. He also had really chiseled features and great abs, or so Cosmo thought when they did a skantily clad expose on him in June 1982. The blame game ensued. How did this happen in the bluest state in the Union? The truth seemed to be that the election served as a memorandum on several national issues. Still, it was entertaining to watch Scott Brown’s opponent, Martha Coakley, go from heir-apparent to punching bag for the Democrats. Did I mention Ted Kennedy held that Senate seat? Save two years, Kennedys had controlled that very seat since 19, “cowdah, pahty, Go Sox! Freakin” 53!!!

Winner: Toughest race of the year…Mark Sanford. No actual 2009 moment was ever going to overtake this one.

2009 Awkward Sports Moment People Actually Cared About Award

Awkward Do Not Have Enough Money to Consistently See Movies Awards:

Me

Awkward Sports Moment People Actually Cared About Award Nominees:

LeGarrette Blount: The Oregon Ducks running back was having a frustrating afternoon at Boise State. Ultimately, his team lost a hotly contested game. Not awkward you say? Well, what about cold-cocking a Boise State linebacker after the game…on national television. Blount had to be escorted off the field by security because he proceeded to try to fight the entire Boise State home crowd of some 50,000. After a long suspension, Blount was reinstated to the team.

Tiger Woods: We will likely never know what exactly happened on that fateful night. This much is sure: Tiger was in a crash, Tiger fled the house after his gorgeous Swedish wife found out he was seeing another woman, Tiger ends up in the hospital and out of the public eye for months. As it turned out, Tiger had been bedding a plethora of women for years. Surprisingly, none of them were nearly as good looking as his wife. Tiger recently emerged from his cave, only to be a robot all over again.

Tigers (the Detroit variety): The Detroit Tigers led the American League Central Division, by a safe margin, for most of the 2009 season. Typical of the Tigers, they figured out a way to let the young, inexperienced and mediocre (but shockingly resilient) Minnesota Twins into the divisional race. Still, the Tigers managed to go 7-3 to end September and seemed poised for the playoffs. Worst -case scenario to end the regular season: Twins go 4-0; Tigers need to go 2-2 to win the division. What actually happened: Twins go 4-0; Tigers go 1-3 and need to play a one-game elimination for the division. Gut-wrenchingly, the Tigers show heart for the first time a week and lose 8-7 in the 12^th Inning. Hour before the deciding game, the Associated Press reports that Tiger’s star Miguel Cabrera was arrested by police for drunkenness and domestic violence the previous week before a pivotal loss. Sources close to the team claim that General Manager Dave Dombrowski personally bailed Cabrera out of jail and drove him to the ballpark.

Dennis Rodman: Being on Celebrity Rehab.

WINNER: Dennis Rodman!!!

Reflections and Drinking in Ireland (part VI)

The Laurels Pub

Main Street, Killarney

I did venture outside Dublin. What might one expect in such a provincial countryside? Well, you’ll find lots of bars. In this way, you might think that the small villages and towns of Ireland do not differ much from Dublin. Nothing could be further from the truth. Instead, you find the real Ireland. The real Ireland is old. You can feel in on the road to Limerick. It seeps from the earth like ancient stonewalls fighting through the moss and grass. Old Ireland still has a Celtic tribal vibe that you cannot shake. At the same time, the villages are impossibly adorable. Imagine a Caribbean seaside village but really different. There are very colorful buildings, narrow streets and even palm trees (they’re really skinny and scraggly but the gulf stream’s humidity allows their growth.). Similar to the Caribbean, the locals speak an even less comprehendible form of English. I found this out upon our first interaction with our Ring of Kerry tour guide.

Guide: “Aye lads! Whas ur names the’?!?”

Me: “Joe and Colin.”

Guide:” Ah shite! Thars two fine Irish fookin’ names!”

Me: “Oh, ha ha (awkward). Yeah!”

The rest of the tour was beautiful but largely uninformative. I pride myself on being able to understand people with extreme accents and I was only getting every third word. Our guide did not really talk. Rather, he sang as he spoke. The words melded together like a poem hitting a wide variety of pitches as green hills, pressed hard against grey and damp skies as if in an effort to showcase their vibrant hues, rolled by our window. From what I could gather, the stories were rich. We went through a town with a statue of a crowned goat in the square. Every summer the locals select an actual goat king though an exhaustive process. He is then crowned, led up to a high elevated platform, given all the food he cares to eat, and is declared monarch of the town for three consecutive days. In this time, a large and never ending drinking celebration is held in his honor.

In truth, the tour could have been substituted for something else. I would rather have hiked a stretch of the coast or biked down provincial roads. I suppose I even would have preferred to play golf with a view of the Atlantic Ocean (the winds may even help my slice game). The whole experience was a bit melancholy. After all, we were not in Enniskillen. Enniskillen is the ancestral home of the Maguire Clan. Complete with charming Lochs and a castle with a history museum, it is a place I still long to see. The problem with Enniskillen is that, centuries ago, my ancestors were massive pricks to the English crown. Along with the O’Neil’s and the O’Donnell’s, the Maguire’s successfully defended Western Fermanagh from British influence before fleeing to France in the infamous, “Fight of the Earls.”

The idea was to gather the support of the Catholic French Monarchy and return with a huge army to invade Ireland and reclaim it for Catholicism. They never returned (it makes sense given the food disparity) and 

Reflections and Drinking in Ireland (part V)

The Temple Bar Pub (3.75 out of 5)

47/48 Temple Bar, Dublin 2

It may not seem like much to look at, but looks can be deceiving. The Temple Bar is named for Sir William Temple (for whom the entire district is also named). So to recap: Temple Bar is a single establishment within a larger district known as Temple Bar. Confused? Who cares!?!? The former is one large, single floor bar. Despite having three bar areas, the place is so crowded it can literally take 20-30 minutes to get drinks.

If you do go to The Temple Bar get ready for a dark and loud feeling reminiscent of a club. The entire flow of the bar would work well, if there were a fire marshal at the door. Slipping through the throngs of tight pant wearing Euro-guys can make you yearn for the days of baggy pants. At least then there was reassuring mystery as to which things you bumped into trying to find an, almost surely non-exsistant, open table. One thing you will find is police officers, or at least evidence of some. Be sure to check out the bar post in the front corner with police patches from around the world.

You will also meet regular folks from around the world. Or, a greasy, 30 something Italian guy begging a table full of disinterested students to move the party to a, "disco!" My friend Andrew made a fine impression on the tourist population of Dublin and won, "Ireland Trip MVP," for getting so drunk at this bar that random foreigners we had never met were whispering in my ear, "Your friend is so drunk." The magnitude of the feat is only enhanced by the fact that, as previously mentioned, it was incredibly hard to procure any drinks. Yet, with a few well placed elbows, a flurry of inquistive questions like, "are you gonna finish that babay gurl?" and sheer determination, Andrew rang in a night for the record books and kept his drinking dignity. A good day for America too as in the dark cluttered mess of Temple Bar lay a veritable United Nations of drinking talent. If you are lucky, you might meet: Tall Canadians, Seemingly Neutral Swiss, and Gypsies.

Well, you would not be lucky to meet Gypsies. Since Romania’s admission to the EU, it has been particularly easy for Gypsy beggars to inhabit the tourist center of Dublin. A word of advice: don’t give them any money. Andrew gave one an American quarter (in a shrewd plan to trick the Gypsies and devalue the Euro by circulating American currency) and was immediately mobbed by half a dozen shrouded beggars of the night. The seemingly neutral Swiss and myself (never much for neutrality to begin with) sprang into action and swatted the Gypsies away like so many mayflies descending to the shore for their short lifetime. Basically, we got hammered and slapped at Gypsies… but not before rocking out with a great house band! I cannot remember a time that any song, much less the U2 classic, “With or Without You,” has ever been drunk sung louder than, “Don’t Stop Believin’ !” Can you imagine: A chorus of young people from around the world, uniting under the banner of inebriation, and singing the anthem of an entire generation of Irishmen? See, this is when I wish the UN and English Soccer would hire me as President of American Marketing. Even this accomplishment could not be as memorable as…

The Laurels Pub

Main Street, Killarney

(5 out of 5)

NEXT WEEK! THE FINALE!

Sunday Morning Haikus

Virg announcing run

Experience you may ask?

M-S-N-B-C

Snow in North and South

Exacerbating the break:

Plough or fortitude?

Figure is not Greek

That uni-brow or loneliness

Be my Valentine

Politics? Politics!: Snow-Day, Tea Party, Michigan Governor's Race.

Political silliness and analysis in and around the events of this week.



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Reflections and Drinking in Ireland (part IV)

Oliver St. John Gogarty’s (4.0 out of 5)

Fleet Street and Anglesea Street, Temple Bar, Dublin 2

A multi-story yellow structure with murals and flags out front, Gogarty’s is pretty hard to miss. Furthermore, it is a destination you should not pass by. Is Gogarty’s ‘touristy’? Yes. Is Gogarty’s a fun cultural experience? Absolutely! There are four levels at Gogarty’s. The first is a street level wrap around bar area with a sound system playing top 40 music. In this facet alone, Gogarty’s is not impressive. However, like an 80’s fantasy film this is just the mediocre beginning of the journey. As the hours go by, you climb the stairs and the party intensifies. Finally, David Bowie appears in a giant bubble. Just kidding, but I did get my ass grabbed by a 50 something Welsh woman.

Better yet, you can have 3 weird French guys tell you how "gangster" (add requisite hand motions) Detroit is. Maybe it was their teeth, the man purses, or their bad dancing; I had to get away and up the stairs. Lucky, because the second floor features another bar along with a cozy stage and seating area. By the time you have had a few drinks and get to the second floor, your wallet should be lighter. Even by Dublin standards, the drinks at Gogarty’s are a few Euros high. Still, you will find an outstanding selection of drinks and the lines tend to be low due to a high number of bars and bartenders. The second floor has a folksy feel with traditional music playing and a smaller crowd. The second floor also includes an open-air smoking patio. A handsome courtyard style area, a smoker can bring his or her drink and not have to leave the bar. The second floor’s dark lighting and intimate audience with the musicians is a nice place to be when you start to get tipsy. Afterwards, up the stairs you go again.

The third floor is bright, open and loud. As you walk in, yet another live act emerges.  This time, you will hear some Irish standards but also some modern rock.  There is a buzz to the room best associated with a really good house party.  In the close quarters, conversations with those around you come easily. The mood, the lighting, and the music: it all has the feel of a strictly plutonic good time. Who knows what might happen on the third floor? Once, I played Fisher-Price mini-golf on the cobble stone floor with a group of Brits dressed in garish golf attire. In fact, they were ‘playing’ an 18-hole (pub) round of drinking golf with par (beer) values assigned to each stop. If you really fall in love with Gogarty’s you never have to leave. The fourth floor is a small hostel. The rooms are basic and affordable, if not a little loud. Still, few places in Ireland are louder than…The Temple Bar.

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Reflections and Drinking in Ireland (part III)

The Brazen Head (2.5 out of 5)

20 Bridge Street Lower, Dublin 8

This Dublin icon is the oldest pub in the city. In a way, you just have to go to say that you went. If you go, you will find Gaelic Athletic Association (GAA) sports such as hurling (cool field hockey in the air with sticks) on the TV. Only part of the original pub remains but the entire place looks the part. There are three wings to the pub; which creates a courtyard in the middle. By any standard it is a quiet place in the otherwise bustling rush hour. The tap selection is fine and features…Budweiser? This is a drawback. Even though the Budweiser served in Europe is of far higher quality than Bud served in the states (seems pretty unfair), you still feel like this piece of Irish history is too commercialized. Their seafood chowder  and other good eats does save the day and make this landmark an average pub and, therefore, worth a visit. Speaking of good eats, you may want to check out…

Bruxelles (2.5 out of 5)

7-8 Harry Street, Dublin 2

Bruxelles advertises itself as an international pub. If that can be measured by number of flags hanging from the walls, then Bruxelles lives up to the billing.  In reality Bruxelles is a good representative of the “Celtic Tiger,” culture that Ireland had been recently been known for. Though the international recession has hit it hard, the basis of Ireland’s economic revival has been financial houses. Even now, Grafton Street is a haven for Ireland’s version of Wall Street yuppies. It is located of Grafton Street. Grafton is a very trendy network of shops and pubs that is worth a window shop (unless you come loaded). In the same vein, most of the pubs on Grafton Streets are crowded with the financial sector crowd. It bears a visit if just to see a, perhaps, fading part of modern Ireland. A trip to Grafton at about 5 or so features men and women in tight fitting suits and pointy leather shoes pack into outdoor patios like sardines. Their gelled hair and elevated chins fail to hide their generally jovial nature but there is an unmistakable feel of pretension. Bruxelles is only a slight exception to this rule.

Tourists seem more apt to enter. You will find spirited locals. You will also find the best gosh-darn Sheppard’s pie I have eaten in a while. Your best bet is to sit at the bar. However, the weather may allow you to sit outside on the lovely patio. At the very least, this pub makes for good people watching in Dublin’s foremost shopping district. Dublin being an old city made up of districts, it also has a designated drinking district: Temple Bar. While not an actual bar, except when it is (I’ll explain later), Temple Bar is an impressive collection of pubs, hostels, and eateries lined with cobblestone streets which seem to jump up and bit drunks. The highly visible jewel of this district is…

Oliver St. John Gogarty’s (4.0 out of 5)

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